It Ends Tonight.

For myself, if not for everyone else in the world.

I am happy being single.

A relationship girl through and through, I will give everything one hundred percent all the time. If I am yours, I will make damn sure that you know how much you are loved. I will do everything I can to solve any single problem we might have, and most importantly, I won’t back down.

I love passionately (which can translate to having a temper), but I love loyally. I am yours until you make it absolutely clear that you don’t want me. Period.

Currently, I am single. I haven’t been single in YEARS, and it’s fucking scary and it’s fucking lonely. However, I am learning that I can be okay living alone in this apartment and living for myself. I am learning that no love is perfect, no love is easy, but that it’s always worth fighting for. Worth crying for.

I don’t need a boyfriend, but I do want love. In any form, in any capacity…I do want love. I want to love and be loved, grow together, fight for whatever it is that drives us, and know that I am looking in the eyes of someone who knows me. My heart, my soul.

So, I am single, and happy to be so. Because the next time I have a boyfriend, I’ll be SO MUCH better for him.

“I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain’t no damsel in distess
and I don’t need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair
isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I’ve got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you’re a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they’d prefer you
were dirty and smiling

One comment

  1. I love you Cassie. I read the other one too, where you finally said what its all about . . . ahh, haven’t we both mourned the existence of mean girls before?

    Thank God for you. Truly, I mean that. Because I’m like you– I’m the loyal girl, the relationship girl, I’m the girl in love with love, the girl out to fix all our problems because Lord knows we can. And like you, I just don’t get dishonesty. I don’t get hate. I don’t understand meanness.

    I’m sorry one of the lesser of our gender found you and put you in her sights. It’s bullshit, mean, and unfair. But I’m glad you are strong, you won’t give up, and now you’re even more determined. I love that you’re still the Cassie I know and love.

    (and finally, sorry about being a flake tonight– I literally have been in bed and sleeping since noon, and before that I was in bed reading. I’ve barely moved. What a waste of a perfectly good day. I’m kinda mad at myself about it, but meh, apparently my body and soul needed it. Another time, I guess.)

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