It’s not what you do that defines who you are. Who you are defines what you do. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of life is the ability to create your own journey.
I have had some interesting hangups lately, but none of them matter. I remember being nineteen and heartbroken, feeling beyond repair and ready to let go of life. I remember planning to drive my car into a bay, knowing that drowning was the most terrifying thing I could imagine…and I wanted it so badly.
I remember sitting in the parking lot of the only place that could give me hope, and feeling none. I remember sobbing to my best friend, feeling out of control and scared out of my mind. I remember wondering where God was at that moment, and how He could let me feel such despair. Such deep pain.
In the face of everything I have wandered through since then, these “hangups” of mine are almost comical. In fact, they WOULD be, if this wasn’t my life and someone else was dealing with it.
I’m proud though. Proud to own these shoes and walk in them everyday, and proud of the way I am dealing. I am happy, happier than I have been in the four years Washington has been my home, and it’s sad/scary/wonderful. Still confusing, but what twenty four year old life isn’t confusing? You show me that person, and I’ll show you someone wearing a veil.
We do what we need to be Free.