My horoscope for today:

It feels like one phase of your life is coming to an end, but this is just a sign that there are new opportunities right around the next corner. Today’s mysterious Scorpio New Moon falls in your 12th House of Destiny, making the current transition more significant than you realize. But don’t waste energy grieving what you are leaving behind; your enthusiasm for what’s ahead is a key component to your success.

Maybe that last text message I received last night was more significant than I thought.

Maybe in the light of everything that has happened (or not happened, for that matter), I am better off letting it be what it is. Nobody can say, even now, that I never tried. That I didn’t give that life everything I had, everything I knew, everything I had ever hoped it could be.

Now, in this morning, the gaping hole that has formed in the absence of what I once loved is vast. It’s not as painful as it once was, but even after I have healed, it will always hurt. That kind of pain, all consuming and washing over me in waves for years, it never fully goes away…it never fully loosens the hold it has.

Deep down, I know this was how life was meant to go. Deeper still, I know that I am changed for the remainder of that life. I can only move forward, waiting (not looking) for what comes next.