Welcoming myself back.

It’s Tuesday morning, and I’m sitting here with a giant jug of cranberry juice on my desk.

No, it’s not what you think.
Yes, I drink that stuff like it’s water.

It’s been quite the month so far, and as this week winds up (and down), I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. March hasn’t been horrible, just busy….but isn’t that always the case with me? I’ve been living though, and I’m proud to say that I’m taking the steps I need to take in order to get ready for the second half of this year. Three (ish) months in, and I’m already planning ahead, GO ME:) I’m extremely excited to move in July, and the condo I looked at this weekend made it that much more real.

I’ve really done some soul searching lately, and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

First, I am not going backwards. I’ve never been that girl, and as hard as it’s been to push forward in some areas, it’s what I need in the long run. Does it hurt? Only in small doses, and that in itself is a HUGE improvement. I am not going backwards.

Second, I’ve narrowed down my career field, and I am so excited about that. Being in the environment I am, I have really fallen in love with it, and I could easily enjoy this for the rest of my life. I enjoy the creative atmosphere of design, and I love the strategic thinking of marketing. It’s what gets me excited about work everyday, and it’s the push I need to do my job and do it well. The possibilities are now endless for me, and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

And third, my personal life has taken a spin. A beautiful, wonderful, whimsical spin that has me giddy and elated. I’ve written about it so many times in the last six months, but the core of it remains true. This was always how it was supposed to be, and my reality now makes my reality then melt away. I think it will always feel a little painful that I sold myself short in so many areas for so long, but I am making up for it now, and that counts for a lot. I haven’t know this kind of freedom and happiness in my adult life, and knowing that this is how it’s supposed to be give me hope. The future is bright and alive.

My future is bright and alive.

I recieved a message this morning, and it spun my world around for half a second before I came back to reality. It was an apology, from someone whom I hadn’t really given a second thought since last year, and it reminded me how good people really can be. A year later, it’s come full circle, and I like knowing that I have it in me to forgive and be okay with that (I’m not holding my breath for everyone though, because some people will never learn). At any rate, I can definitely appreciate her words with an open heart. Done and done.

“Sometimes those terrible things, they save us…”

Yes they do.

I hope it rains today.
Happy Tuesday.

2 comments

  1. full circle is a 360, meaning you are where you started. or is that what you wanted to say ?

  2. I started without hate, I ended without hate. Yes, I meant to say that.

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