“I won’t settle for anything less than the brutal truth. Brutal. Brutal.”

“Do everything in love.” – 1st Corinthians 16:14

The Bible can be a sore spot for so many people. Some people take it as truth, while others view it as a fancy story that allows people to pass judgement and condemn. Personally, I can’t find many people who view it the way I do, read it the way I do, and enjoy it the way I do. Like I said, it’s a sore spot, a touchy subject.

The Bible might be a “story”, but there are a few things it definitely got right.

“Nobody should seek his own good but the good of others.” 1st Corinthians 10:24

I’d like to think that I’m nice to everyone. That I give everyone a chance to prove themselves, to be kind, and to show their “true” colors. I don’t know when “showing true colors” started to be a bad thing, but in this journal entry, I’d like to think true colors are good.

I’d like to think I forgive easily, but I know that’s not true. I don’t, I won’t forget things, and once that trust is gone…it’s gone forever. Maybe that’s my own version of “do everything in love”, because first and foremost, I love myself and I love my spiritual God. That wasn’t always the case, and I was a very unhappy person because of it….but now, I (we) come first.

Seeking the good in others is always something I’ve tried to do, even when it started to kill me and my relationships. I learned the hard way that a lot of people are NOT good, and never will be. I also learned that people do make mistakes, horrible ones that they’ll never be able to repair or make up for. I’ve learned to look for the things that can’t easily be seen, appreciate the human struggle to own up to our shortcomings, and love. It’s a delicate balance I’ve kept up, one that has exhausted and confused me for a long time.

A few things:

  • I’ve been trying to write this blog for two days, and it isn’t flowing right.
  • I couldn’t find my bible last night, and it really hurt.
  • I have a tiny buddha sitting on my desk.
  • I was irritated this morning about something that I can no longer control, and I’m trying to get used to that.
  • I’m leaving for vacation tomorrow night, and I can’t wait to get away.

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