I took a sick day today. I needed the time, to breathe, to heal a little bit, and to get myself in order for the week.
My throat has been a little sore the past few days, so I took that “excuse” and ran with it. I needed today, so did my apartment:)
I am always on fast forward. Constant work, constant plans, always somewhere to go…something to be done. The sick part is that none of that washes away what I’ve been running from; the memories, the pain, the inevitable change. My head is a constant swirling vortex of stuff, and though it makes for some amazing days, it also makes for some awful days. The ones that make me take a sick day.
I wish someone would just get it. That sometimes people need to do what’s right for them, and whether or not it truly IS right, time doesn’t wait for anyone. I understand this so well that it makes me sick sometimes, because that doesn’t take the memories away. The fact that I get it doesn’t stop me from hurting, and the fact that time hasn’t waited but kept moving…yeah, that sucks too. It’s almost past my control at this point, and I’m trying to reconcile that with my heart.
Like always, in moments like these, I wish the world would stop for a second. Slow motion, like Iron & Wine singing ‘Such Great Heights’.
Tomorrow will make better sense.