“I feel so far from where I’ve come.”
There is no better way to say it. Not in this moment, not ever.
My new job is wonderful, more than I could have dreamed really. While most people might find what I do to be boring, I could not feel more fulfilled in my career goals. The growth potential is what I crave, and I have it, SO much of it. I’m busy, and I’m happy.
A year ago, there wasn’t a single thing I could say for certain. At the time, I could have found something good to say, but it was for the sake of “seeming” okay. I wasn’t, and it’s taken a long time to sort out. But with every piece of clothing I take to Goodwill, every drawer I clean, every solo dinner I make myself, and every night out with friends–it gets better. With every risk I take, be it switching jobs, giving up things I thought I wanted, or moving out of my first (solo) apartment–it gets better. I created this, from the very second I set foot in Washington with less than a hundred dollars in my bank account until now, with a full apartment of my very own. I created this, and I am so proud. I can exist to live, and not exist to exist.
Damn that feels good.
In two weeks, I will be back on the East coast. My little brother is graduating high school, and I cannot wait to share his moment with him. I also cannot wait to see my parents, my best friends, the cliff with champagne, and Amigos quesadillas. I’ve been feeling really blessed lately, but that feeling is nothing compared to being able to share life with my family.
(on another note, the Red Wings game was AWESOME tonight. Why I started loving hockey isn’t as important as why I keep loving it…and tonight rocked my world. Five for fighting bitches…that’s all.)
Is it only Tuesday?