Do I notice things more because I am getting older, or because more things are happening as I get older?
I am not sure.
What is happening in Japan today is tugging at my heart. And it’s interesting because what happened in Haiti didn’t have the same effect on me, so I am curious as to why I feel the way I do. Possibly because I am terrified of deep water, and Japan is experiencing my worst nightmare. Possibly because I remember when Monica lived there, and her many photos and journal entries about how special Japan is to her. Knowing my friend is shocked/scared and worried, makes ME feel parts of those emotions too.
Or it could be because these things, these “natural disasters” are reminding me of this:
The earth reels like a drunkard,
it sways like a hut in the wind;
so heavy upon it is the guilt of its rebellion
that it falls—never to rise again.
I can’t help it. Every time something awful happens, a tornado, earthquake, tsunami, oil spill…my mind goes to this verse. To the ones before and after it, and my soul hurts. I know my God isn’t a vengeful one, but I can’t help to feel like we are destroying ourselves and the earth we live on.
Do I think Japan did this to themselves? Absolutely not.
Do I think anyone deserves so much loss and destruction? Never.
I just wish we had more love. For each other especially, because reading back on what I wrote yesterday annoys me on another level. There is an entire world outside that I am determined to love and understand and know….and yet I spent twenty minutes addressing a situation that added nothing to my life. I could have let it go.
We need to have more love and patience in this world.