It’s been quite a week.
We have booked our first night in Dublin, and I am calmly awaiting my next moves. This is a new thing for me (the not forging ahead and planning everything), and I am enjoying it. It’s in my nature to be tightly wound, ready to spring into action and make shit happen. It’s even my job to be the one who works out details, with care and budget concerns, to make life easier down the road.
I’m learning to be calmer about some things. Feels good.
On another note, I am finding that I need to write less and less. I’ve been doing it for so long, and it’s such a part of who I am, but the need isn’t as strong as it was five years ago. It makes me sad, because I remember all those years I spent as a child, sitting in my room and writing for hours. Making up stories, characters and plot lines, those are some of the happiest moments I can remember. I think back to when I started blogging all those years ago, and how free I felt when I could just get it out and be known.
That need isn’t as strong anymore, because I am an adult and I feel secure in my skin. All those years of writing for therapy paid off, and I am in a good and strong place in my heart. I don’t need to tell people how happy I am, explaining the “why and how”, because the people that know me can already see it. I’ve just grown tired of explaining and justifying, and while I believe that this blog is good tool in some aspects, I need to rethink my reasons for posting from now on.
It’s Thursday, my favorite day of the week, and we have my favorite bakery catering lunch today. I feel very happy. It’s going to be a great day.