It took me five and a half years, but I’m finally doing it. If it doesn’t work out, I can always know that I tried, and I didn’t settle.
That’s the important part. I didn’t settle.
I start moving in a few weeks, and as strange as the process is going to be, it’s the best decision I’ve made in awhile. I tend to led several things get in the way of me doing what I want, but this time, it’s not only the RIGHT thing but it’s the LOGICAL thing. I smile reading this entry:
August 8th, 2009.
It’s a beautiful Death Cab kind of day. Overcast and absolutely perfect.
Peaceful.
I spent last night in Queen Anne. Pizza with people who were great friends, and others I could have done without. Girls are petty and judgmental, but I survived. I watched one of my “top three favorite movies of all time”, and enjoyed some down time with one of my favorite people. I love Seattle, I love houses with red doors, and I like seeing the fog under the street lamps as I walk to my car at midnight.
I could easily exist there. That life is what I came here for anyway.
This weekend is teaching me about options. I have lots of them, and all of them are good. I am leaning farther and farther away from expectations, and the ones that people have for me. I have enough expectations for myself, and there is very little room for the ones that other people have too. These last few months have cost me a lot, but I still have what I started with…just in a different capacity.
And I won’t be hanging on for dear life, because I’ve gotten this far by swinging free…
Have heart my dear
We’re bound to be afraid
Even if it’s just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear
It’s the final game of the Stanley Cup finals tonight, and though I don’t have THAT much interest in either team, I am rooting for the Canucks. Vancouver is one of my favorite cities, and Canadians are my kind of people:) It’s been a great series, and I’m happy that I get to spend tonight with people who love hockey as much as I do. Buckley’s isn’t going to know what hit them tonight, so the tater tots better be delicious!
I’ve resumed planning Ireland, and it’s getting to the point of “WHOA, reality”. We really are leaving in a couple months, and we really will be in another world, lovely and beautiful. I forgot to share our cottage, so this is where we’re staying for a week on the west coast of Ireland. It took a lot of emails back and forth, trying to find something we are all okay with and excited about, but we finally found the magic. So much reality, hitting in no time…:)
Okay, back to work.
Unexpected Liberation 