Let’s not lie here, women hold grudges. Grudges they (rarely) ever get over, even when they smile right to your face and swear the “past is in the past”.
I haven’t been much different. I remember what’s been done to me, by different guys I’ve dated, and what it’s done to my heart and general approach to life/love/all relationships. I’ve grown up enough to know that what’s done is done, and I just don’t have the room to continue to hate, or dwell on, or even just dislike.
At what point though, does it stop affecting us? I can “not dwell” all day long, but when faced with some off the wall situation, or “slightly familiar” problem, my mind can’t help but remember. Even if only for a split second.
We are all damaged in some way. It’s how we deal with that damage that really counts. How we remember that damage, learn from it, and at some point: stop talking about it.