Seventeen Days.

“And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time…”

I don’t fear death, but when it comes right up to my face and smacks me with the reality of life, I can’t just ignore it.

The reality is, everyone I know is going to die. I might get lucky, and have all of them grow old with me and die of natural causes, but it’s all the same. Everyone I know isn’t going to exist forever, and though obvious, it still shocks me. Someday, I will have to go through saying goodbye to my father, my sister, and maybe even my husband. I am definitely not someone who takes people for granted, but I can’t appreciate people enough to make them stay with me forever, and there is nothing about this life that I can control.

What little control I do have is only an illusion, and I never think about that fact because I am so busy controlling my life with plans, lists, phone calls and text messages. I have so much planned out for my life, know myself well enough to know what I want, and I really haven’t factored in the true facts. I have no control.

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