This weekend was a calm one. Filled with normal things, genuine people, and calm. I found myself at the Alderwood mall yesterday, and like most mall visits, I didn’t expect much out of it. I am a girl, and it is a mall…but let’s be honest here.
I hate to shop unless I NEED something. Which is why I am surprised by my one purchase.
It looks like that, except it’s light gray and the words are white. Underneath LOVE, it says “To write love on her arms”, and it repeats that again on the hoodie part. It’s beautiful, it’s soft, and it was totally meant for me to find and buy.
To Write Love On Her Arms is an incredible organization, and it’s one that I’ve known about for awhile now. They are dedicated to reminding people how beautiful life is, how beautiful they are, and how one person ALWAYS has someone they can lean on. They deal with issues surrounding depression, addiction, and suicide prevention. All things I have dealt with in my own life, past and present, and all things I can definitely support and understand.
My own story is filled with so much pain and regret, and I don’t think I have ever explained it fully to anyone but those who lived it with me. Depression isn’t something that anyone should take lightly, for yourself or for another person, and dealing with it takes a lot of love, compassion and understanding. For me, my depression wasn’t especially triggered by anything…it just crept in one day and never left. I hated myself for a long time, didn’t talk to anyone unless a situation absolutely called for it, and isolated myself from every friend I had known. This went on for years, I attempted to end my life several times, and each time I felt the failure of being unable to succeed. Looking back, I don’t think I actually wanted to die, but I saw no other option, no other savior from my pain.
This continued until I was twenty, and my out of control spirals happened less and less frequently. Maybe it had been growing pains, maybe it had been high school, or maybe it was just something I was slowly coming out of on my own…but I did learn to love myself, and my life has continued.
In part, that could be why I love Washington so much. Because I am able to endure the rain for so many days in a row, feel the darkness of cloud cover at noon, and wake up to gray skies with the same smile. I feel so centered here, and though I am not without those old feelings (I don’t know if they ever go away), they are very few and far between.
So, there’s that.
In your own way, please support TWLOHA. They do good things for so many people who believe they are anything but good, and in our world today, that speaks volumes.
I bought a t-shirt from them ages ago– a yellow one, with the Hindi word for rescue or save written across the front in black. I love it.
I wrote Love on my arms last year. And I’ll be doing it again this year. See? I just keep finding reasons why I love Cassie. :o)