A few things:
1. I am a barista. I am not a garbage man, I am not your waitress, and I am not your rude boss/husband/wife/annoying coworker/cashier at McDonalds who doesn’t give a shit. I am your barista.
I make your coffee because I LIKE TO MAKE COFFEE. Not because it pays well, not because I have high hopes of running my own Starbucks, and certainly not because the tips are amazing. I work there because I happen to enjoy my job, I happen to enjoy meeting new people, and I just so happen to have chosen to work that job. I don’t come to work to be ignored when you’re paying me, ignored when I tell you to “have a nice day”, or witness the eye rolls when I can’t understand you because you’re either on your phone/talking to your friend/not speaking clearly/or I’m doing a multiple tasks at once and you can’t wait a damn second to order. It’s coffee, it’s just a beverage, and it is by NO MEANS a life or death situation.
I am not above giving you decaf instead of regular, or letting your shots pull just a few seconds longer than they should. Your attitude rubs off buddy, so I suggest playing nicely with people who are serving you. I won’t spit it anything, or attempt to do anything that would cause you HARM, but I am just selfish enough to get you back in a subtle manner should you decide to give me, or my fellow barista girls, any grief. IT’S FUCKING COFFEE…quit being a jerk.
2. My sister once told me that this time of year makes me crazy. She pointed out that I have always had a hard time with the months of late November to early February. Until a few years ago, I wouldn’t have agreed, but it really can’t be denied. While December is my birth month, and while I feel more centered and happy during this time, the lows are extreme. More extreme than any other time of year, and much more frequent. I’m happy to be me, but there are times when I get so stuck inside my head that I find it hard to come out again, and it sucks…for everyone I’m close to. It doesn’t help that THIS year is bringing so much change and stress and awkward situations, oh winter.
I love and hate you.
3. I’m shopping for my birthday dress tonight. I am vain enough to be excited about that, and girly enough to shop online BEFORE I hit the actual store. Jesus.
4. I’m learning to let go. It’s a constant battle, and one that I might always be fighting because there is always something to be “gotten through” and “processed”. I need to be challenged, I need to feel constant growth in my soul, I always need more. But I’m learning to let go of the bad things, hard as it is, painful as it seems. I’m trying to be healthy again, my heart deserves it.
5. I still want a new tattoo. In my mind, life changes equal tattoos. Don’t tell my dad:) It’s therapy that only I can understand.
[03 Dec 2008 | Wednesday]
This will always make me laugh.
“I just wanna do hoodrat stuff with my friends!” :)