“You’ll never know, how low an angry heart can go-“
It’s interesting just how much sight I gained this year. How blind I was in the four (plus) years prior to this one, to know how much that sight is tied to my heart.
Monica recently wrote a blog about censorship, and how she thinks before she posts, and the reasons why. I can certainly relate, because the people in my life are too precious to write about sometimes, too personal to put “on blast” like that. I don’t think I have ever had that kind of censorship with anyone in my life before, and I’ve taken the appropriate measures to make sure this blog is hard to find from search engines, and only available to people who know this address.
Still, there are going to be people who read this (and follow me on twitter) that won’t like what they read sometimes. I can’t help that, and I make no apologies or explanations for those things (well, until I want to). I have been keeping an online journal since 2003, back in the days of diaryland and livejournal, and even though I’ve become a better writer over the years, I still do things the way I always have. This is my life. These entries, these words, my thoughts about everything and nothing. This journal/blog isn’t a passing fad to me, and I can show you things from the past seven years to prove that.
I’ve been busy lately, almost too busy to actually sit and concentrate on anything for any amount of time. When I do have a free moment, I’ve been focused on enjoying that with the people closest to me, and nothing else matters then.
Even now, trying to finish this entry is hard. This journal has always been my release, but what do I need releasing from these days?
That question in itself is the real answer.
That’s the OTHER reason I haven’t written much in the last few months– writing is my release, and what do I need release from now?
I have a job, two actually, a loving husband, a roof over my head (MY roof, too!), and money enough for necessities. There’s no dumbass boyfriend drama, no unemployment stress, no I-want-my-own-apartment angst, etc, etc.
And I feel kinda silly to just keep posting “I’m really happy today” every single day. Not a bad thing, not a bad place to be at ALL! :o)
But it leaves my blog rather empty.
I might be that “cheesy, junior high, love letter writing, blog girl’ but I am happy to be. :) Just like you said above, you write for you- I write for me- I enjoy looking back at the little things that put that cheesy smile on my face. Realizing now what real, true, honest love is- is a GREAT thing! Something I have NEVER had before. (Nope, not once.) So in honor of all the chesse balls everywhere, I say why not?! Write those corny happy day love letters. They are here for you to reread and remember later. :)
Share it with the internet world. :) They deserve to know YOU my friend are happy. MUAH!