It’s going to be a short week, and I welcome that with open arms. I am loving this job, the people, and the chance to learn…but I’m ready for Thanksgiving.
The first snow of the season has brought some unwelcome thoughts.
My family. I miss them like crazy, and although I chose this life here, I wish they were closer. I wish that I could spend the holidays with my Dad’s fruit salad, and celery and cream cheese appetizers. This year will be absolutely different from every other year I’ve spent in Washington, mainly because I’m trying. Looking up recipes, emailing J’s mother about anything and everything, learning how to make my grandma’s fudge. I am actually trying to create something this year, making my own traditions, and not just pretending. Twenty five has been an amazing age to be.
Still though, the little dark spots are getting bigger as the month moves closer to December.
My sister. She hasn’t spoken to me in four months, and I honestly couldn’t explain why. Whenever this happened in the past, I could (sort of) explain it away in my head, and assume it was because of Jonathan. She didn’t like him, didn’t like my choice to date him, and so she kept her distance. I never understood that either, mainly because it should never matter who I’m dating, she’s the only family I have out here and she should be present no matter what. Now though, I can’t really understand why she’s chosen to take this path again. It hurts, and I can’t help but draw a parallel between her and my mother.
I’m going to stop there. Those thoughts are too difficult.
This year, I am going to focus on me. My happiness, my rules, my traditions. I am going to spend the holidays with my boyfriend, because he “gets” it, and with his family because they’re amazing.
I bought Christmas cards last night:) I can’t wait to mail them.