So I just realized that today is the seventeenth, not the sixteenth.
To make up for my silly entry earlier (which I thought was today), I’m going to share something.
I am a control freak.
Given my nature, this is hard to admit, but not really shocking. I am very Type A and Type B, so I am simultaneously getting anxiety and shrugging my shoulders over this assessment of myself.
Letting go is sometimes a very “thought about” act for me. Not calculated by any means, but it usually takes me a second to switch over to that side of my personality. I find great comfort in composure, grace, and articulated sentences. I find comfort in controlling, to an extent, my personal bubble and the state of it. Any qualms I have about admitting this are becoming smaller and smaller, a perfect example of the other side of my personality.
(let’s hope I find someway to tie all these thoughts together by the end of this).
I haven’t been able to find an accurate definition of “soul mates” until recently. Today, actually, during my lunchtime reading.
“Your problem is that you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you. And then they leave. And thank God for it.”
I think this is the best definition I have ever heard, and this is purely personal. I have had people like this come into my life, and once they’ve left, I have been changed. Always for the better, always producing some amount of pain, but always worth that pain in the end.
I currently have people in my life that I believe were meant to come into my life, but wouldn’t consider a soul mate. My boyfriend for example; he is the perfect compliment to myself, and we are constantly laughing, sharing interesting conversation, and enjoying being in the presence of our best friend. He supports me completely, but doesn’t push me, and he allows me to (often) run ahead in a whirlwind, while not pulling me back. We met each other at the right time, so even though I am still learning things about myself (and I hope to learn forever), he isn’t changing me. And I am utterly thankful and grateful for that, and for him.
Okay Friday, two entries under your belt, now it’s time for the weekend:)