It’s Tuesday, but it’s really my Monday, and I am just now processing the weekend I had.
I feel like it lasted forever, and the back aches I feel from moving is proof that I didn’t dream any of it. After the four hours it took to finish, and the interesting drive down Aurora to return the truck, we proceeded to get “day drunk” at the Ballard Seafood Festival with friends.
And. It. Was. Needed.
I spent a great weekend existing, feeling happy that I didn’t have to drive “all the way” home later, feeling secure knowing that my boyfriend is just down the street and we didn’t have to decide when to drive back to Auburn.
Yesterday, I drove down to clean my old apartment, and the longer I was there, the more angry I got. Angry that I had to clean that apartment by myself, angry that the carpets have been destroyed by an animal that isn’t mine, and angry that I’ll have to pay for (at least) some of that. Angry that I lost a friend, angry that I don’t know why, and angry that people just can’t be honest and own their feelings. I definitely needed to get done quickly, turn in my keys, and get the hell out of there.
I met the other girls for happy hour, and it felt good to know that nobody else understood what had happened either. My anger isn’t really helping anything, but deep down, I’m just bummed that I lost a good friend. A good friend who couldn’t even tell me why she stopped coming around, didn’t even care enough to be a friend when I needed one these past few months, and left me to pay bills we should have split. I have never had good luck in picking roommates, but this time should have been different. It’s the same old story for me, I have several great friends, but I want that one close girlfriend I can count on and laugh with. I thought I had it, and damn, what a wake up call.
It’s times like these where I remember that I do have some amazing friends, people that have known me for longer than the five and a half years I’ve lived here, and who are constant and loving. I need to focus more on enjoying the great people I surround myself with, and less on the shitty people that wander in and out.
Cheers to this new week. Good energy in, bad energy out.