October.

“When we say things like “people don’t change” it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that’s up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.”

I shared this quote on Facebook the other day, because it makes me happy. It is also something I need to remember, the fact that people change and morph and grow, and what is fine today might not be fine tomorrow. And that’s okay. It’s okay that things change, and people change, and that life moves on into a direction you never thought you would want to know. That is something that the control freak inside of me doesn’t always remember, and it’s also a sentiment that the free spirit inside of me tries to shout from the rooftops on occasion. Change is okay! The world is not crumbling! Loosen that damn grip already!

I have been to one appointment so far. It was at eight in the morning, and a strangely nice way to start the day. Maybe it’s just having someone sitting across from me and listening without waiting for me to be finished already, or the reality that I am speaking to someone who doesn’t know me well enough to judge. Whatever the reason, it was nice to have someone to validate my feelings, because we all need that from time to time. Someone to just say “I totally get it. You’re not crazy.”

Change is okay.

One comment

  1. Mon Zni · · Reply

    I like your comment about it being a good way to start the day. Lol, in my own experience, even one hour was so intense and so deep that I’d come home and sleep for hours, because those 60 minutes took everything I had and wiped me out.

    I woke up feeling GREAT though. :o)

    Happy for you. Glad you’re finding what you need. We all need that.

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