December 20th: Winter Song.

I feel like I have been really busy since the month began. I always feel like I am busy, and it’s often with good reason. In an effort to come up with a decent post today, here are a few things:

1. I guess the world is supposed to end tomorrow? I think that whole notion is rubbish, and the next person that brings it up is going to get an earful. Why is it so much easier to believe (half heartedly or not) in our own demise, but we have a much harder time believing in the goodness of other people? We are such cynics, expecting the worst, joking about the worst, but constantly forgetting that we live? I just don’t get it.

2. Work is going well. Like always, I am so thankful I found this job. I am so thankful I found my ‘place’, where I am not considered weirder than anyone else. Case in point: I recently ‘realized’ there is a good possibility that I used to be the Queen of England, and when I told one of my friends here, he not only acted like it was totally normal of me to think that, but he’s started calling me Jane. Is that weird? Probably to someone who doesn’t know me well enough, but I am just so happy I found my place.

3. So here are my travel plans for February. The plans I have not felt like sharing until now, because bringing them to everyone’s attention means that now I really have to buy my tickets. And as wonderful as it will be to travel alone for a week, I am also terrified. I want to start out in London (or Paris), and then take the train to Paris (or London). That’s it, that’s as far as I have come in my planning, and plane tickets to and from Paris are insanely expensive right now. I am blaming the holidays for this, thinking that maybe the airlines have raised prices for all those people who want to buy a ticket as a Christmas gift. I’ll probably be buying my tickets after the New Year, and I am…terrified. Not the scared kind of terrified, but the “thrilled” kind of terrified, if that makes sense. The train from London to Paris goes under the English Channel, and that knowledge alone is enough to shake me to the core, given the fact that I am extremely scared of drowning. Whatever, I can only live this life as ‘Cassie Jo’ once, I might as well make the most of it. I have also been practicing my french, and the only phrase I can ever fully remember how to say is “where is the bathroom?”

So we’ll see what happens.

4. I finished all my holiday shopping on Tuesday, but I still want to wander around downtown at night instead of going home. I like the energy, I like the lights and the rain, and even the hint of desperation in the air. I like giving gifts, and if I wasn’t saving for this solo trip, this would have been the first year I could have given amazing gifts. Maybe I am too selfish.

5. This is my ‘Holiday’ song for today:

I think the lyrics are a little sad, but the melody is so pretty and calming.

6. I just took a 20 minute break from writing this entry to go read Gawker, and now I have a meeting. Happy Thursday.

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