Feeling the burn.

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them…. I destroy them.”

The human spirit is no joke. Our deepest desires, our deepest needs and emotions, none of those things are a joke. Sometimes we sell ourselves short because we believe we don’t deserve our deepest desires, or maybe they are too out of reach, and we are simply lazy in our pursuit of them. We forget that we are capable of anything, becoming glued to the idea that “anything” comes at a cost, and we’re simply too broke.

Taking chances and putting yourself out on that limb will definitely come at a cost. Maybe that cost is a few friendships, or your job, or even your heart. It’s entirely possible that the price you’re gambling with is too high, and when it comes down to it, you’re not ready to gamble on a ‘chance’. Maybe those deep desires aren’t meant to become reality, but hidden forever, propelling you forward with longing and no action.

For some of us, these deep emotions aren’t a big deal. They stay with us our entire life, we barely notice them, barely acknowledge them because there isn’t a point to it. We deal with the hand we are dealt, doing the best we can with what we have and what we are given, and we are thankful. Taking a chance on the possibility of more would make it seem like we are ungrateful, too ambitious or foolish. If you’re a person who is already perfectly happy with what you have, this post is not meant for you, because you have obviously achieved what a lot of people haven’t. Pure contentment.

But what about the rest of us? The dreamers? The possibility of more just sounds too delicious to pass up, the idea that another level of happiness is out there just waiting to be snatched up and enjoyed is the worst kind of tease. The chance to become/experience/embody more is the best kind of promise there is, and we want it, we hunger for it, and we will pay whatever the cost to taste it just once. We will risk relationships to feel human again, to feel new in our own skin, and to let our deepest thoughts become reality. Ambitious, always. Foolish, maybe. Ungrateful, never.

If anything, the dreamers are the most grateful people I will ever know. Thrilled to the tips of their toes about possibility, compassionate, thoughtful, adventurous seekers on a neverending quest to find what their hearts tell them exists.

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