This Is War.

There comes a single moment in life, one defining and beautiful moment, when it doesn’t matter what you’re going through (good or bad)…you know that you’re never going to be the same again. It comes when you least expect it to, brings with it the clarity of finally being able to see, and you’ll never be able to forget it.

It doesn’t matter if everything was going right to begin with, because with this moment comes the realization that from that second until forever, everything can actually be right with the world. In good times and in bad.

Maybe I am getting a little theatrical in my writing here, but I firmly believe the above statements to be true.

In late September, I found the piece of the puzzle that I had never even know was missing. I hadn’t gotten that far in the making of that damn puzzle anyway, but out of nowhere, there it was. Bright, blinding, perfectly shaped. It clicked for me then, and I (very carefully and full of skepticism) put that piece where I thought it fit best. It fit in easily, and I very slowly began to put the rest of my pieces around it, silently thrilled beyond belief that I had found something that made everything else so EASY.

But we all know how opposed I am to making anything EASY on myself (that whole “loving pain” thing), so I’ve (mostly) kept my mouth shut on the matter. What you don’t talk about to everyone, can’t be destroyed by anyone. Right? Yes.

I’ve always thought the majority of people were blind. I see people take things for granted, not look twice at the homeless guy on the corner, or not take in that beautiful sunset with gratitude. I’ve always thought that the majority of people were blind…not realizing how much people actually DO see. So, it hasn’t mattered what I’ve never said out loud, because people have seen what my inner thoughts won’t communicate.

I am very deeply in love.

I have struggled with this, tried to reason myself away from it, and even tried to physically push it away. It won’t budge, it keeps coming back, it’s that damn puzzle piece that fits so perfectly in my life. Like it was made just for me, and me alone. It fits into my scattered brain, world, lifestyle…at any and all turns, it works no matter which way I put it. And that blows my mind.

He is exactly what I have waited for. What I didn’t even know I was looking for.

What I want for the rest of my life.


  1. sister nurse · · Reply

    there is good dirt in the garden now. i am a happy little flower watching it thrive :)

  2. This made me grin.

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