October Fourth.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru de va om
Nothing’s gonna change my world,
Nothing’s gonna change my world.

On this day, last year:

I am completely on fire.

From the inside out, I can feel myself burning and I am loving every wild second. Loving.

In the past 48 hours, everything has changed. I am happy for this fact, elated even, and I can’t stop myself from counting the hours until tomorrow afternoon. I feel myself smiling for no apparent reason, I feel the old butterflies (I thought they had disappeared) in my stomach, and there is no way I coming down from this high.

My day was wonderful. My weekend was wonderful. And everything has changed. This is what I waited for…this is where life was leading me.

I cannot help but mourn for the loss of everything else. Everything I had wanted, had hoped for, had worked for. It wasn’t for nothing, and even now in this moment, I can tell I am going to miss it. I crossed the bridge, but I refuse to burn it. I hope that doesn’t hurt later.

Either way, I will continue to burn. With happiness, with pride, and with the calm assurance that I am okay.

I am absolutely grateful for this day, for the year I just had, and for every year that is to come. Whatever happens now is the way the universe wants it. I am one of the luckiest people alive, and with everything wrong at this moment, none of it really matters. The trivial annoyances, my swollen eye, my slowly draining bank account…nothing matters but how lucky I am.

I finally believe in luck. The Irish kind:)

My future has a face.

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