I am about to go all broken record here, on this blog, and I am giving you fair warning. Get out now, because if you are someone who knows me, you’ll have heard all this (mostly) before.
If you’re still reading, let me just explain that I know I’ve said all this before. However, it’s clearly something I am still working out with myself, and even though I know I have an audience sometimes, I don’t really care. Life is weird, man.
Today is my last day at my current job, and I am definitely pretty bummed about it. I actually really like it here, and if I had to compare all the jobs I’ve had, this one definitely comes out on top. So, why would I have a new job if I like my current one so much? This is where it gets hard to explain, because part of me doesn’t even know, and part of me knows all too well.
I like change. I am actually addicted to not sitting still, and I crave learning so badly. I want more, and not just sometimes, but all the time. I refuse to believe that I can’t have it all, the happiness, the paycheck, the friends, the benefits (health). I refuse to believe that I have to sacrifice one thing for another, and so I continue to search, even when I feel like I could be content if I just sat still and tried. Call it motivation, call it drive, call it being a total flake at life. There is no accurate term for it, and sometimes that bothers me, and sometimes I really don’t care.
I found a new job that suits me, and my skills, but a part of me is already wondering. I have to learn to relax, stop worrying, and just let my restlessness go. A new job isn’t going to fix my problem, though it might soothe it for awhile, like aloe or something. I am excited about Monday, and even though it means saying goodbye to something that’s been good, there is definitely something to be said about change. I don’t know what kind of person that makes me.
Maybe it makes me the kind of person who values happiness above all else. It’s definitely something I had to learn to value and appreciate, but I just can’t settle until I have what I want and need out my own life.
That’s fair, right?
In the interest of “being an adult”, I am not naming my new job here. I am not tooting my own horn here, but they are a little ‘high profile’, and I don’t want to associate my ramblings here with them in any way. So, if you’re super interested please email or let’s make a coffee date. I need to catch up with people anyway:)