I have seen the 2011 Coldplay Live at Glastonbury show several times now, thanks to Palladia. It’s enchanting, and I could watch it every day, dancing around my living room, feeling like I could burst. That’s what it does, it makes me want to burst into flames, purple and rising into the sky, touching nothing and everything.
I am not a poet. But that is one beautiful thought, and that is a small glimpse of what being inside my head is like.
I can’t be the only person I know who feels the incredible urge to run, right? I can’t be the only happy person who wants to run away and experience everything, right?
I am supposed to be going to Australia in March, and I don’t want to. I do not want to go on that trip, for a number of reasons, but the main one is that it’s not on my terms. It’s for a wedding, for two people who are technically already married, and I just don’t want to spend my hard earned (and hard saved) money on something that isn’t on my terms. Maybe I am a brat, because I have the option to go somewhere lovely, and I am putting my foot down. But I didn’t save all this money for other people, I saved it for myself, and right now I am feeling pretty selfish. Which I am okay with.
This is my favorite part of that Coldplay show. I have seen it about a hundred times, and it never gets old. It’s always as beautiful as it was the first time I heard it.
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverseAnd the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix youAnd high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
And just for fun, since it’s the title of this entry.
Unexpected Liberation 
After growing up being taught that it’s a girl’s role to give, give, give til there’s nothing left and then give some more and never, ever take, I have reclaimed what they told me was “selfishness.” Turns out, it’s actually called self-care, pride, and confidence. We’re both givers by nature, but there is no reason to run ourselves dry, or to not be proud of our accomplishments or want to use them to reward ourselves for our hard work.
I totally feel your pain with the Australia trip.
You didn’t share details, but I say make the most of the trip. A wedding is one day. Stretch your vacation a little longer than the rest of the guests. Hike, surf, and/or play. Enjoy the chance to celebrate a day ending with “y” on foreign soil. You will make the most of it. The excitement will come the closer it gets. :] Think happy thoughts. You are going there to celebrate love. You will find something that you love there also. Just bring your smile.
Promise. ;]