“They should tell you when you’re born: have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel.”
That quote probably means much different than what I am reading it as, but I don’t care. From the second I saw it, I knew it belonged to me, and I have clung to those words in the past few months. Have a suitcase heart, what a glorious piece of advice to give.
Perhaps the person giving the advice meant it in the “love” sense. Have a suitcase heart, get ready to go on a wild ride with your emotions, flaws and shortcomings all exposed. Have a suitcase heart, be prepared to dig deep and find what you buried in there, so you don’t lose it forever. It stands to reason that this was the true meaning, have a suitcase heart, know yourself so well that you can pack up and go at a moments notice.
The way I read these words isn’t so different really, but it’s more personal, less inclusive of others. Have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel, and be ready to actually take yourself on this journey. Get ready to be lost, get ready to find out what you’re made of, and get ready to be a little lonely in your own company. Preparing your heart to be a suitcase is a solitary act, and there are days when it’s messy and days when it’s packed neatly and perfect, but it’s going with you whether you’re ready or not.
When I started the process of planning a solo trip, I didn’t anticipate an issue. I mean, how hard is it to find a ticket and just GO, right? I have the money, I have the time, nothing should be difficult. Except now, now that I am ready to spend and to conquer, the price of airline tickets have shot through the roof and I find myself discouraged and sad. Doesn’t the Universe know how badly I need that ‘free falling’ feeling? I have my suitcase heart all packed and ready to go, so just leave me do that already.
Soon. I can feel that ‘soon’ is the right time, because I am not going to force anything. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should force it to happen if it doesn’t feel comfortable to me.
I have been writing this entry for two days and it hasn’t gone anywhere. Until next time.